Emotional eating

[Beth66]

I am an emotional eater. I recognize the fact. I recognize it while I'm doing it.

I get in an argument with my daughter, I walk over to the pantry, find some carbie goodness to eat (dry cereal or crackers because I don't keep cookies in the house), and eat the entire time the argument lasts.

I do the same thing if my husband is the one who's arguing with one of the children.

I recognize the problem, but I can't seem to stop myself.

I saw some info on the forum about the book Mindless Eating. Reading the review, however, I don't get the idea that it is about emotional eating per se.

Any recommendations for a book to read or a method that can help me break the cycle? Snapping a rubber band on the wrist? Everything I've read to date tells me that I need to "fully feel your emotion. Live with your feelings." I tell myself that while in the heat of the moment, but the carbs always win.

[maleficent]

Reading the review, however, I don't get the idea that it is about emotional eating per se.

It's not about emotional eating - it's more of showing people how much they do indeed eat and being aware of what you're eating...

There are a lot of emotional eating books around - but if you're aware that you're doing it - I doubt they'd help...

Sounds like what you're doing (Hi, I have my pretend web degree in arm chair analysis) is punishing yourself for the arguments... for things that are out of your control... (teenagers do it with cutting and other things)

[wes]

Originally Posted by maleficent

There are a lot of emotional eating books around - but if you're aware that you're doing it - I doubt they'd help...

X2.

Awareness is the key and you have that. Now all you have to do is realize that you control your mind, not the other way around.

[Beth66]

I believe it also has something to do with containing what I say in an argument. If I were to say what was really on my mind, I would be abusive and sorry for what I said. So I stuff food in my mouth rather than saying "Fuck you, Bitch!"

Must count to 10 -- or 20 -- or 30 instead of eating or screaming obscenities.

[maleficent]

nothing wrong with screaming obscenities from time to time..

(i have a sometimes case of tourettes syndrome and it can't be helped)

Say what's on your mind...

[Beth66]

Not to children.

No one in the world will make you more angry than your children -- but you can't say those things out loud to them.

Eating is better than abusing.

[Jeanette401]

Is there a substitute for stuffing your mouth when you're trying to distract yourself? Sometimes I clean the house when I'm annoyed and screaming isn't going to help. I do bang pots & pans around but no screaming obscenities.

Or you could get one of those squishy stress balls and start trying to strangle it quietly.

[maleficent]

r you could get one of those squishy stress balls and start trying to strangle it quietly

I've gone thru 3 stress balls in the past month.. squeeze them hard enough and they do pop.. and the squishy stuff is kind of a pain in the ass to clean up... wii boxing is better..

[Chillen]

Have you thought about, having certain low-calorie food items (and beverages) around the house (in the cupboard, refrigerator, pantry, etc) to combat these occasions, which will assist in defining a defense and maintain your offense to this problem? I can present some ideas, maybe you can flex them to your specific context.

In addition, how are you spacing your meal habits?

There is a lot of (good) information right at your finger tips on this subject matter. IMO, the best approach is to be proactive (searching for the quality material that will assist your specific circumstances) and reactive (and implementing the potential solution and then adapting, if necessary). I think it IS a good idea to read material on persons who have a pattern of eating when emotional (or stressed), and see what they did about it. In addition, its a good idea to research some psychological data on it, and sort through the ones that pertain to you (or most like you).
best regards,

Chillen

[Beth66]

Thanks all. I do have many low-calorie, healthful choices in the house. I know in my head what I need to do in these stressful situations. I am having trouble executing when in the heat of the moment.

Like all else in life, practice, practice, practice.

Chillen, thanks for the advice to be proactive and go out looking for information. That's what I do with medical information for my job, with regard my family, etc. No reason not to do it for this as well.

[Trops]

Originally Posted by Beth66

Not to children.

No one in the world will make you more angry than your children -- but you can't say those things out loud to them.

Eating is better than abusing.

Not that it will make it any easier, but you are the biggest example in your children's lives. If you lose your temper, chances are that they will also. If you stress eat, same thing.

I try to remind myself about this when I get into it with my 10 year old daughter. I will lose my temper from time to time, but keeping it cool for her sake does help.

[Steve]

I'm a fan of what seems like miniscule acts. For instance, most people's "goodies" are located in one particular location in the kitchen. Couple this with the fact we're mostly acting unconsciously when we're acting out as you explained above.

So a huge step is breaking the automaticity of it all.

This can be done by simply hanging something on the door of the cupboard, for instance. I had one of my clients do this. Her ultimate goal was to look how she did 15 years prior. She actually brought that picture to me at our very first consultation. It was obvious there was a lot of emotional intensity backing up how she felt about that picture.

She also battled with what some would call emotional eating.

That picture did a great job of interrupting the automaticity she experienced while heading to the cupboard.

Of course that's just one example.

And of course ridding trigger foods from the cupboard would be a great place to start too. You can't binge on what you don't have. Although I don't believe abstinence is a long term solution.

[Steve]

Originally Posted by Trops

Not that it will make it any easier, but you are the biggest example in your children's lives. If you lose your temper, chances are that they will also. If you stress eat, same thing.

I try to remind myself about this when I get into it with my 10 year old daughter. I will lose my temper from time to time, but keeping it cool for her sake does help.

Ditto that. I think Mal posted a video not long ago that very powerfully depicted this.

[jj29]

I just posted something about this in my journal.....I have found that when I work out less, I become less of an emotional eater.....maybe try that and see what happens? But that would require you to not work out as much which isn't much fun.

[Steve]

Interesting. Do you think it's something directly linked to appetite and increased workload/physical stress? Or do you think it's something psychological?

[jj29]

I don't know. I just sort of put it together in my head tonight. I wonder if anyone else had this happen to them.

[Steve]

I've seen it where people eat more or uncontrolled when they exercise more b/c they feel they are "owed" it given how hard they worked. Unfortunately, it's far too easy to out-eat what you expend in the gym... so things typically don't work out for them.

On the physical hunger front, I've seen it go both ways... for some increased activity actually blunts hunger oddly enough. Others... not so much. I'm of the latter camp. When I expend a lot of energy, I crave foods like it's my job. That's even if I get all my protein in and eat healthily.

[Alexie]

Originally Posted by jj29

I don't know. I just sort of put it together in my head tonight. I wonder if anyone else had this happen to them.

Shit, count me in.
I have had episodes of overeating every few weeks and before Christmas it became really terrible. New job, different eating schedule, trying to compensate with more cardio. I finally quite all formal cardio and now just lift, also changed my eating schedule.

So, it seems to be getting better. I am not really an emotional eater, more boredom or hormonal hunger.

[Valkyrie]

Heavy bag in the basement.

[Beth66]

Maybe a heavy bag in the doorway of the pantry! You have to punch and kick your way through to get to the food!

[Dave in the basement]

Can't help on the emotional eating front, as I am more of a bored (not board lol!) eater. Since I am often busy but bored at work, I always make sure I have a huge pile of sugar free gum to attack. Feel free to give it a shot, if you like.

Best of luck with your efforts!

Dave

[milloreeri]

Emotional eating is basically consume large amounts of food - usually comfort or junk foods - in response to feelings rather than hunger. Experts estimate that 75% of overeating is due to emotions.